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Week 41: Winning and Not Winning

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A fantastically fascinating final furlong in the ferociously fought fumble for the fantasy football title. A massive Manager of the Week certificate-winning week's score of 42 points from the recent long-time league leaders Pyeators threw Dave Clayton's lads all the way back up the table earning themselves a final Second Place finish to the season for the third time in five years.  They landed up there with a bump, short by just 11 points, behind this year's Office Fantasy Football League Champions, Neil's Diamonds.  Yes, it's now official.  Congratulations to Neil McConaghy who hasn't won the title since 2008 when he topped the table with Big Mac's Mingmongs. Congratulations/Commiserations therefore to Dave 'Runner Up' Clayton who adds 2017 Runners Up, to his legacy of losings.  This includes 2014 Runners Up, 2013 Runners Up and 2012 Cup Runners Up.  "Don't worry Dave," as we've comforted him almost every year since 2012, "t

Week 40: West Spam United

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Livercoolio's Transfer Requests Unless a miracle hits the fan [depending on which team you manage] it looks like Mr McConaghy has the OFFL Championship 2016/2017 all sewn up.  18 points separate his Neil's Diamonds ahead of second place Inter Milandrover.  All ears cocked toward the gargling Fat Lady. Dave Clayton and Ashley Keeler are joint Managers of the Week with a score of 32 points for Pyeators and It's A Snickers respectively.  What a way to go into the final week of the season. Meanwhile, the blameless OFFL are embroiled in a transfers scandal involving Livercoolio being maliciously Spam Filtered out of submitting transfers by Google.  So if you've spotted an apparent glitch in the table please rest assured, Livercoolio are currently Fourth in the table with all appropriate points awarded. And talking of transfers... none have been submitted by Moreton Rovers' Edgar Rayner meaning Smasher is in with a shout of winning the OFFL Cup.  How magnanimous of the

Week 39: Fidget-Spinning in Excitement

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Neil's Excited Manager of the Week ?  Malcolm Meaden-Pratt.  16 points for Starpratt Mustgo.  They're up into Thirteenth, four places above wife Karyn. *Sizzle*. Meanwhile at the top of the table... two weeks of results to go.  12 points in it.  Is the gap too big?  Yes, probably.  Let's be honest.  We can see Neil McConaghy fidget-spinning in excitement. But what of The Cup? ======== OFFL Cup -------- Semi-Finals, RESULTS, Wk39            RS-TBOY  5 v 10 Inter Milandrover      Rick Beecroft         Smasher Dowds Farm Goblins  6 v  7 Moreton Rovers       Nick Borrett         Edgar Rayner The final is therefore between Inter Milandrover and Moreton Rovers.  Moreton Rovers have 12 transfers left while Inter Milandrover have none.  This means that Moreton Rovers can GUARANTEE a cup win if they can spot any player that is out injured for the rest of the season in Inter Milandrover's team. They just have to swap the entire team to copy that of Inter Milandrover's apart f

Week 38: Diamonds On Course For League Title

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McConaghy: Getting ready to accept the title The magnificent Alex Blundell, dithering from one week to the next, is rewarded for his dawdling with a Manager of the Week certificate.  His Moanchester United netted a massive 32 points moving themselves up six places. Meanwhile Neil McConaghy has nudged his Diamonds even further away from the chasing pack of wannabes.  Now 20 points ahead with 6 transfers left it all looks like what one might call a commanding lead - and at such a late stage in the season too. Meanwhile... -------- OFFL Cup ======== Semi-Finals, IN PLAY            RS-TBOY v Inter Milandrover      Rick Beecroft   Smasher Dowds Farm Goblins v Moreton Rovers       Nick Borrett   Edgar Rayner T h e   T a b l e                                             Value Points    Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot  --------------------------------------------------------  1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       54.8 25 396  2 Inter Milandrover    Smasher    

Week 37: OFFL Cup Semi-Finals Draw

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The Wet Fish-Slap of Reality    It's that time of the year when Our Most Gracious Chairman has been too busy checking his MySpace profile and forgets that the season might be running out of weeks.  The usual flailing arms and panicked head-scratching would indicate that He's forgotten to schedule the OFFL Cup within enough weeks to play it. So this year [if you can imagine it] OMG Chairman was flicking the doughnut crumbs off his continually ballooning belly, and about to plunge into a beautiful snooze, when the wet fish of reality slapped him harshly across the face.  Convulsing with panic, he vaulted into the green leather chair of his bureaux followed by the dragging of a chubby little finger down a column of dates in his Danii Minogue calendar while his tongue apprehensively clings to the outside of his upper lip. "Ah," he thinks with relief "that could have been embarrassing" The moment passes and he mops his brow with a polka dot hankie. And thus... -

Week 36: OFFL Cup Quarter-Final Results

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Mike Smears is only just in the Top Ten Bit of a shuffle at the top this week with Dave Clayton's long-time leaders, Pyeators, slipping down yet another place in the League. Current leaders Neil's Diamonds continue for another week at the top with a increased lead of 7 points.  Bielby's Livercoolio fall to Fourth, a few steps away from the dream of winning a third OFFL title in four years. Manager of the Week , distressingly for all of us, is the decrepitly aged and calculatingly cantankerous Mike Smears.  His Irishpool pulled in a dastardly brilliant 18 points to push themselves up seven places into Ninth. A walking stick's ferrule away from being outside the top ten. Meanwhile... ======== OFFL Cup -------- QUARTER FINALS, RESULTS Week 36              RS-TBOY  7 v  6 Moobchester United        Rick Beecroft         Jon King     Starpratt Mustgo 10 v 11 Moreton Rovers Malcolm Meaden-Pratt         Edgar Rayner       Inter Milandrover 15 v  1 The Flying Geese            

Week 35: Open Wide

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The Race for the Title:  Wide Open. Neil McConaghy has just blown the title race wide open.  Which sounds a bit dramatic, we know, but there you have it.  What would YOU do if you had to write this tedious drivel every week? 23 points pushes Neil's Diamonds into top spot with Dowds Farm Goblins keeping up with the pace and sneaking into Third after scoring an even more impressive 25 points. Manager of the Week , however and with a bulgingly fecund score of 36 points, is one Alex Blundell. There is only one Alex Blundell. His Moanchester United rocket up, past the 300-point mark, into Twelfth. Meanwhile, from 1730hrs Monday 10th April 2017, the OFFL Cup Quarter Finals are in play. So, who's zooming who? ======== OFFL Cup -------- QUARTER FINALS, to be played over Week 36              RS-TBOY v Moobchester United        Rick Beecroft   Jon King     Starpratt Mustgo v Moreton Rovers Malcolm Meaden-Pratt   Edgar Rayner       Inter Milandrover v The Flying Geese              Smashe